Some of you may think this is a picture of Anthony and I but it is not. It is Charlie and I when he was just shy of a year old.
This photo represents a lot to me and because of that it is the backdrop on my cell phone.
When times are tough, motivation is low or I am having a case of feeling sorry for myself this photo reminds me that it will all work out, it hasn’t always been this way and my little men are worth every gained pound, sleepless night, discouraging workout, worrying thought and everything else that could be deemed as negative on this bumpy road of motherhood.
In this photo I am wearing my favorite hoodie that I have had for years. The thread bare looks of it proves that it is the favorite. This was my favorite thing to wear when I had a chill or was training clients because it kept me warm while clients enjoy fans and AC to keep them comfortable in their workouts.
I haven’t worn this sweater since I ended up with Postpartum Hypothyroidism and gained all the weight back I had worked so hard to lose not long after this photo was taken and then right as the Thyroid got sorted out I was fortunate enough to get pregnant again and gain more weight.
So why is a sweater that doesn’t even come close to fitting me right now belong in a photo that I look at when times are tough?
To me it represents two things one is that that hard work does pay off, that I can get back to my body composition goals because I have done it. It represents that the fit body I identify myself with is still there and that the body I am in now is just a phase. Strangely on the body composition side of things it also represents that I don’t need to judge myself by the size of my clothes because things change and as long as hard work is present, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
My precious Charlie was also very sick in this photo. I had just rushed him to the Children’s Hospital as he struggled for air because he had Croup. Health Link told me I didn’t need to take him in but I just knew it was serious and when they rush you from Triage to a room and a doctor is in the room in minutes you know you made the right decision listening to your mommy instincts. Anyone who has heard their little one struggle for air as they bark like a seal likely has their heart in their throats just remembering it as they read this.
The doctors and nurses had just worked their magic administering medication and my precious little man collapsed on me exhausted and relieved because he could finally breathe with ease.
So again why does this photo represent something positive?
To me it represents that I will do anything for my precious little men. It represents that everything I have been through to conceive, carry, deliver, feed and tend to them has been worth it. No size small sweater is worth not having them. I will get to my new best version of myself soon enough and it is okay that there are bumps along the way especially when it comes to the constant cold/flu season that is an Alberta winter!
To truly have results in our health, fitness and wellness we need to accept who we are in this very moment first. Only then can we move forward and create positive permanent change towards our goals. It took me a long time to understand this and there are moments that like anyone I struggle to remember this but I like being a work in progress.
There is a lot of information and ideas floating around about loving your body at any size and I absolutely agree with this movement. What I don’t agree with is using body love as an excuse to mistreat your body. We all need to move, eat nutritious food and take care of our minds. When these three things are happening pick your goal and go after it even if it is maintenance at whatever size your body is. – More on this subject in another post.
If you are to take one thing away from reading this story please take 2.
- Find something that symbolizes the desire for positive change/movement forward in your life.
- Love yourself where you are at first and then proceed to your goals.